Why?

Although I have answered your question and again and again, please ask so that I might answer.  Though I answer many times, I'm still not there; the expression is missing, the words out of order, the thought vague, unframed, unclear.  I don't know yet the answer and will ask myself if you do not, until the answer comes out and I hear.  And though you may then say, yes I know - I understood the first time, you do not; you can not for I do not.  It is there and I know it, sense it, feel it; but, I cannot know it, cannot hear it, cannot see clearly until I do.  Unsure, stumbling movements in a small space; step again, again, again.  And then the same words, the same thought, the same expression of what is inexpressible cracks open and exposes itself no different yet not even a bit the same.  Clear, bright, sure.  Known.  I know but you can't know, you see, for I don't see.  So ask again and listen close but not to me.  Have faith in the step and when that is unsure then faith in taking the step.  It is not the answer we seek, but the knowing of the answer, the knowing.  A dance that is only a dance once it has been danced.  And then, we call it insight.  And then relaxed, not looking, not seeing, I see again, and do not call it.  Grasp not knowing lest it be stuck unknown.  I am here.  I wonder where that is.